I'm going to have to take a tranquilizer before I write this as this topic can cause me to have tourettes like outbreaks. Indeed few things whilst travelling can make me seethe as much and cause the cursing of all gods known to Christianity, Judaism, Islam, Buddism and Hinduism (eh, 1 + 1 + 1 + 1 + 49 million = 49,000,004 gods).
A sleeping policeman may be know to you as a speed ramp, speed bump, traffic calming device (well only if you are a town planner) or simply a "hump", a term which caused me endless thighslapping moments whilst living in London. Despite my thirtysomething years I cannot walk by a sign saying "humps for 450 yards" without sniggering like a teenager.
Whatever it may be called it is an obstacle in the middle of the road to slow traffic down. Fine, wonderful, dandy. Stick them outside schools or in residential areas to make sure reckless drivers don't mow down unsuspecting kids.
The problem is that in South America the drivers obey no signage known to man so the authorities stick humps literally ANYWHERE, including fucking main roads. In Brazil, where a short hop down the road means a 24 hour drive, speed bumps are even laid out in the middle of super straight, Euclid would have come in his pants, highways. You might be sleeping on a leather seats, in-drive refreshments and blowjob included super-deluxe bus (more on this later), but no matter how comfy you may get you will still be jarred out of your sleep every ten minutes as a bus enters yet another mini-hamlet with 14 speed bumps.
1 comments:
Blast you Andrew. I opened your blog, out of curiousity, to see what you were up to with the intention of giving you five minutes of my precious time.
One hour later, my sides hurting,I am shuting you down as I could spend all day following your escapades. Keep it up lucky bastard.
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